i wake up to these whispers, shake my head and yet still can do nothing but ponder their translation. there are things i have found answers to that many people never ask, but there are so many things still overwhelming me that if someone were to ask me if i have my life together i would look at them and laugh. i am the token splash of american spice a this international beach, and i feel like i’m on an investigative adventure finding out what the rest of the world really says when we leave the room… i haven’t quite figured it out yet, but the emotion is understood. it’s as if we’re salt, and in our own cooking we can taste nothing but our own brine. in the mélange of the world, we are overpowering the subtle flavors of a master chef; and yet still, we come back to square one and i don’t really know what i’m doing, forgot to pay my taxes, and feel lucky and lazy at the same time. this time is not permanent, that i know, but at the same time the french laugh when they find out we only have two weeks of vacation every year when they have five… of course we don’t have the time or energy to open our hearts and minds to other countries and languages and ideas… be human and ask about one’s children or lover or life outside of work, work, work… and when we go out (now i’m paraphrasing) why only to eat? no shopping antique, culture, only to eat! and the TV! people sleep to TV! they have so many free channels and so many jerry springers he’s-the-father-of-my-child and ah! it makes you a zombie!


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